ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
