you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
