i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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