if you like me you must not know who I am
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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