woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
