i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
