well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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