I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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