Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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