She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
They have beer where we have blood.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
