There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
