There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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