Christians are straight up FREAKS
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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