I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize