You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
