1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
