Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
