Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
