Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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