I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize