Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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