he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
