Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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