that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
