I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
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