i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
