New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize