Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
