What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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