never play flip cup with pint glasses
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
