Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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