He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
