my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
