What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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