You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
