So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize