i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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