omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
