Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
