How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
