I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
God I need to hump something, right now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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