I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Can I color on your dick again?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
