There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize