I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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