Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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