I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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