My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
