I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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