i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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