Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
