Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
