Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
