"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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