love makes seman taste better
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
