Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
