you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm too high and old for this...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
