you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
