So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
