sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
